weak sauce

stardate 08102011

i just read the pentateuch through. (as in, Genesis through Deutoronomy.) then Joshua. very good stuff. i thoroughly enjoyed it.

then i read Judges.

sick. shocking. and super disturbing.
dis-turb-ing.
i will not meditate or even think about some of the stories in that book. at one point, i had to have psalms read to me to wash the imagery out of my head.
(my new least favorite character in the old testament is Jephthath. after reading the account of his life i pretty much hate his guts. the who's who of who not to invite if you want me at your party.)
i get it though. Israel was entrusted with the very words of God. and then messed up. big time.
don't we all? over and over and over...

dirty, dirty Judges. it shows the sheer filth of life without the fear of God. times ten spajillion since it was most the nation of Israel. let me just try, having just read it once through, to stab, in no particular order, at some themes here:

• doing whatever you want doesn't work out so great
• God uses some seriously crooked and confused people to accomplish His purposes
• a group of people need leadership
• it is helpful if leaders aren't of moral weak sauce
• being left-handed can be quite a tactical advantage
• women can be vicious and awful 4:21; 14:16-17; 16:15-16;
• men can be stupid and violent 8:27; 11:35,39; 19:25-27
• God intervenes in the gnarliest of times
• He really means what He says so you better do so

then i remembered a verse that sums it up real nice-like:

"All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people,

who walk in ways not good,

pursuing their own imaginations—

a people who continually provoke me to my very face..."

Isaiah 65:2-3a

by His grace, i hope i may never be counted among those. who provoke.

yikes.

bird walk

these are the birds i've seen the last few weeks by the sacramento river. i'd take pictures of them if i was able. but i don't have a nikkor telephoto and sick nikon like my dad. so i rely on others to illustrate.
hooded merganser 
gadwall
american widgeon
mallard
northern shoveler
buffflehead
ring-necked
and maybe a common goldeneye
my favorite this season is the gadwall. at first glance, you'd think he was a boring brown. but nay. he is gorgeous. i especially like the black bum.
the following is by Kenneth Grahame from Wind in the Willows, possibly the best story book ever composed. it's the song the water rat sang to tick off the ducks in the river.


Ducks' Ditty
All along the backwater,

Through the rushes tall,
Ducks are a-dabbling,
Up tails all!

Ducks' tails, drakes' tails,
Yellow feet a-quiver,
Yellow bills all out of sight
Busy in the river!

Slushy green undergrowth
Where the roach swim—
Here we keep our larder,
Cool and full and dim.

Everyone for what he likes!
We like to be
Heads down, tails up,
Dabbling free!

High in the blue above
Swifts whirl and call—
We are down a-dabbling
Up tails all!

my summer education part 1

reading non-fiction this summer. if it's been published in the last five years. why? i want to look smart. no! i'm trying to stay (become?) current, okay?

i just finished my first summer read. the art of eating in by cathy erway.
sum up: young girl living in manhattan swears off eating in restaurants for two years and learns about cooking and eating and sustainability and local foodie cults and where food comes from.
a classic hippy read.
moral of the story: if people without God can be respectful of the earth's resources and conscientious-er of what goes in their mouths, why can't i?
the concept stems from what i've been reading in luke.  

If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? 

Even sinners love those who love them!  

And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? 

Even sinners do that much! 

And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? 

Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.

exactly. follow? i'll elucidate: if "sinners" can treat God's green and blue earth with honor, why am his children not the example? others do it to save the earth, thwart global warming, or pay homage to their mother-god the earth. can't i do it because i personally know the one who spun the globe into orbit in the first place?
ah stewardship. every popsicle stick, broccoli stem, and steering column came from something in the dirt. it cost something something. and one can't go shoving the cells back into their original form to make it all better by some twisted reverse reincarnation. when it's spent, it has to be tossed somewhere. there are no cosmic disappearing bins o' trash to hold our discarded stuff. so we best take care the first time around.
grace angle: i will refrain from going berkeley on everyone. but i am going to eat and use things with the knowledge that it's by God's grace that it's given. and not take more than i need.
that's the sort of minimalism i can get into.

house of mirth

i'm not sure who this edith wharton chick was, but she surely manipulated a web of mental constructs in my brain. this book, above titled, dare i say it, affected me.
i wanted to desperately to stay distanced from the heroine. like in george elliot's daniel deronda. i fully knew she was star-crossed from the beginning.
but of this recent tragedy... i was a tool. what shook me deeply was its realness: her repeated naivety and blatant disregard of her true self. the seeking of comforts and predictability over personal growth and friendship.
and its relevance: to cultural and social obsessions. to glittery items and fancy words that are vapors. to furies and furies that snap the neck against our better self-possession. the gradual separation between what we know is reality and the cultivated fabrication thereof.
don't be fooled by the title, either. this one's a tragedy. but well worth every page.
sigh.
i've started brothers karamazov. at least it's predominantly about men. i need a break.