measure twice, cut once

while in Cali this last week, the youngest sis and i endeavored upon a whirlwind quilt. she had been pondering this avenue of creativity, and jo-anns, a not so great fabric shop, had a very great sale.

so we purchased.
we designed.
we measured.
we rotaried.
we should've measured again.
we compensated for error.
"i thought you were supposed to be my mentor, jess." "yes, and i'm mentoring you on how to redeem yrself when you don't measure twice before you cut once."
we redesigned.
we ironed.
we seam-ripped.
we sewed.
we smoothed.
we aligned.
we safety pinned.
we quilted.
i left at this point. i'm waiting on a pix of the finished product. here's a bit of the focus fabric. it should be incredible.

crabby patty

just out of beckoning curiosity, why is it that when they serve crab, it has to be in its shell? honestly. i’m not saying that the task of freeing the delicious sweet meat of a snow crab isn’t worth getting juices up to yr elbows and gashes on yr hands from shell and crab zipper isn’t worth it. i’m just saying, why have we eliminated the middle man?
my hands are burning, yo. though, in part, that may have to do with the fact it was ripped apart and eaten outside on the columbia river in not-so-warm April weather. it was, after all, 38 degrees this morning.

vegan, my eye

well, that was short lived to say the least. by midnight of the fourth day of my hilarious vegan endeavor i broke down and had a bowl of cereal.
milk. raisin bran.

i know, i know. i am so very weak.

but didn't i say that dairy would be my undoing?
that would be me at the bar, while others order frosty mugs of micro-brewed ambers, pilsners, stouts and the likes...
"may i have a pint of whole milk? and i'd like it in a frosty mug, as well."
the looks. the sniggering. but seriously, i'm just saving them time. they don't have to card me or wait for that foamy junk on the top of the beer to subside to finish filling the glass.
i'm low maintenance.

and have healthy bones.
calcium in a pint of micro-brew stout beer (Deschutes Brewery Obsidian Stout): 0 mg.
calcium in a pint of milk: 600 of 1000 mg suggested daily allowance
i think the numbers speak for themselves.
(beer is vegan, though...)

soy vegan, ahora

i’ve gone vegan.

before ya’ll freak out that i’ve freaked out and finally let the pinko-commie p-land air and it’s incessant precipitation get to my head... please know it’s only a temporary detox to see what’s making my joints and muscles hate me... and also know that i still love dairy. at least we’ll always have that.

segue: and also, i’m not about flinging blood-simulating ketchup at passerby mink-wearing nuevo-reich while wearing a fox costume. (i’ve always wondered at PETA, who [incidently being one of the most morally bereft and offensive organizations.... i won’t even tell you why; you’d puke.], being so disgusted by the exploitation of animals, would engage in hurling apparent body fluids of said innocent animals on their fellow mankind in attempts to proselytize them. does anyone else see a contradiction here? i love all God’s creatures but enjoy a nice steak, and that totally grosses me out.)

but while researching the strange world of no animal products, and that word "strange" is used only for lack of a more articulate word, i found this snippet on www.reallynatural.com:

People who ate a low-fat vegan diet, cutting out all meat and dairy, lowered their blood sugar more and lost more weight than people on a standard American Diabetes Association diet, researchers said on Thursday.
They lowered their cholesterol more and ended up with better kidney function, according to the report published in Diabetes Care, a journal published by the American Diabetes Association.
Participants said the vegan diet was easier to follow than most because they did not measure portions or count calories. Three of the vegan dieters dropped out of the study, compared to eight on the standard diet.
"I hope this study will rekindle interest in using diet changes first, rather than prescription drugs," Dr. Neal Barnard, president of the Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine, which helped conduct the study, told a news conference.

wouldn’t it be just that more horrible if the very foods we loved the most were working hard to hurt us? i’m hoping it’s not the case with me. chronic pain vs. delicious food.

if such is the case, my constant prayer will henceforth be: God, please make there be dairy in heaven. didn’t you say the promised land would be flowing with milk and honey?

las palabras

just so you know... i did not win this round. actually. if i were to be completely honest with myself and the world around me...
i didn't win any rounds this weekend. four days with my mom playing scrabble. four day losing to my mom playing scrabble. at least she didn't score any stupid bingos. you know, the ones where you use all yr letters? yeah, i'm not sure how those are done, either. though i've seen it cause my demise time and time, again. she's not lettin' on, either.
and yes. guano was mine. it means bird poo.