Friday, July 13, 2007

what then, shall i do?

i feel like a speech-savvy, purpose-ignorant 18 year old right out of high school. last night i wanted to be a web designer then translator. this morning i want to be an artist. but I also like kids. hm.

i know my purpose: “to glorify God and enjoy him forever…” (thank you westminster catechism), but quite frankly that’s just not enough right now. (you know what is enough? to be a wife and sister. but apparently that doesn’t fly in this particular time continuum. so i press onward). so how do i do this glorying and enjoying? don’t give me a bunch of verses. i know them. i mean practically. HOW.

i sit here in my calm apartment on an overcast muggy day sipping decaf sierra dorada from peet’s and an organic, vegan, unprocessed, raw, non-gmo, gluten- dairy- sugar- free, kosher nut and fruit bar and wonder…

what next? i’m not looking for esp here. i’m looking for purpose… i am a ________. filling in the blanks with an occupation/vocation (whatever the difference is between the two. though I like the sound of vocation… it sounds like being on a holiday. maybe that’s the one people enjoy more and look forward to going to).

and don’t throw me the purpose driven literature by warren. that book seriously put me to sleep. a lot of books do, actually. dickens. woolf. macarthur.

authors that stay a comatose state: london. tolstoy. lewis.

and looking at that list i can honestly say maybe there is something quite wrong with my mind. (i’d put rowlings in there somewhere, but she’s just lost and anst-driven).

maybe i should write books that don’t put anyone to sleep. yikes. i can’t even put into words the face i’m making right now. it’s one of “that’s a little crazy in a socially faux pawish sort of way.”

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i was so deep involved in reading this entry that i managed to spill milk on the keyboard....shhh, don't tell dad. it's cleaned up now. i must correct you and say it's j.k. rowling, not rowlings. and you are probably one of the few who aren't put to sleep by tolstoy. i commend you. haha.

Charissa said...

Can we vote? Is this an open forum topic? I pick a writer or a film maker...ryan and i decided we could watch 5 and a half minute videos of your vacations all day. And I would read "Jessica Landers" ...or whatever your pseudonym would be... books for a living.